In my last post, I wrote about my audition for the Butler University Jacobs School of Arts Dance program. This was the first of many college auditions I will be going through this school year and, with that, my first rejection.
An Ominous Letter on the Kitchen Counter....
Ironically, I found my decision letter sitting on the kitchen counter after coming home from a night of performing. My spirits were high, as they usually are after a show, but soon came crashing down as I read the contents of the envelope and let the meaning sink in. Though I had been admitted to the University academically, I would not be permitted to attend as a Dance Major. My emotions were mixed: part of me had been expecting not to get in, but another part of me had hoped there was a chance. I was disappointed, but I knew I now had a very important choice to make: How am I going to let this effect me?
Discussions and Decisions
Almost immediately after opening the letter I took it to my parents to discuss what my next move would be. I thought maybe this was a sign that I'm not cut out for a top level collegiate dance program and I should start looking at other options. Lucky for me, they wouldn't hear any of that. They emphasized to me that this is just one program and I should wait and see how the rest of my auditions go. They also pointed out that my rejection from the program may not have had anything to do with my dancing or technique at all: perhaps I just didn't fit the aesthetic they were going for this year. With the words of support from my parents, I was able to clear my head and realize that this one rejection didn't have to mean the end. In fact, I have decided it is just the beginning.
I may not have chosen to be rejected, but I am choosing my reaction. Rather than be discouraged by this bump in the road, I'm going to be encouraged. In my audition, I was able to see what their current students look like and where I fall short of them (Quite literally, one thing I noticed was that I was significantly shorter than all of them). I was also able to get my first audition jitters out of the way, and will be more confident heading into the rest of the season.
Now, I know what I need to work on before my big wave of audition comes up after the start of the New Year. I'm going to get stronger, increase my endurance, and gain flexibility. I'm going to work harder than I ever have before; even if I don't succeed I will know I gave it all I had and won't feel any regret. I am grateful for this rejection because I am now more motivated than ever to improve my technique to show my best self at the rest of my auditions.
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